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I didn’t tell them the truth.
I just said I was sick.
It was easier that way.
That night was supposed to be simple. Dinner with friends. People I liked. People I hadn’t seen in a while. I had been looking forward to it all week.
But that morning, I felt it.
If you have HS, you know the feeling. It starts small. A little discomfort. A little pressure. And then your mind starts racing ahead of your body.
“Please don’t turn into something.”
By the afternoon, I already knew.
Sitting hurt. Walking felt off. Everything felt like it was building.
And suddenly, something as simple as dinner didn’t feel simple anymore.
I stood in front of my closet longer than I should have. Picking up clothes, putting them back. Trying to figure out what wouldn’t make it worse. What wouldn’t show anything. What wouldn’t make me uncomfortable if things got worse while I was out.
Then came the second guessing.
What if I go and it gets worse?
What if I can’t sit?
What if I have to leave early?
What if someone notices something?
It’s exhausting how many “what ifs” can come from one flare.
I tried to push through it. I really did.
But by the time it was almost time to leave, I was already drained.
Not just physically. Mentally.
I sat on my bed, phone in my hand, staring at the group chat. Everyone was excited. Making jokes. Talking about what they were going to order.
And I just… couldn’t do it.
So I typed:
“Hey, I’m not feeling well. I’m going to sit this one out tonight.”
A few quick replies came in.
“All good, feel better.”
“Next time for sure.”
“Rest up!”
And just like that, it was over.
No questions. No explanations.
But also… no one really knew.
I sat there for a while after I sent that message.
Part of me felt relieved.
Part of me felt frustrated.
And part of me felt… alone.
Because the truth was, I wasn’t just “not feeling well.”
I was dealing with something that most people don’t understand.
Something that changes plans.
Changes decisions.
Changes how you show up in the world.
And sometimes, it’s easier to just say “I’m sick” than to explain all of that.
If you’ve ever canceled plans because of HS and didn’t explain why…
I get it.
You’re not flaky.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re navigating something most people never have to think about.
And even on the nights you stay in…
You’re still doing your best.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
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